Therapists are as Human as Their Clients

It is therapists’ interest in helping others that they are exposed to pain, suffering, cruelty and injustice.

It takes a toll on the psychological well-being of even the most mentally fit person. Therapists are expected to be purveyors of knowledge and wisdom, when in fact, we are on the same mysterious journey as our clients. Do we have life figured out. Absolutely not. Do we know the answers to the eternal questions of why we are  born into this life and what the meaning of life is. No. If anyone claims to know with certainty the answers to questions that are without answers, be wary-very wary. Charlatans abound.

Therapists derive their worth from being authentic. We are are not sages. We have the same struggles, disappointments, fears and sources of angst as our clients do. What makes us helpful to our clients is that we can relate to them. When someone tells me that they are feeling suicidal, I can relate. What thinking person has not at least once not had the thought of suicide as being an option? When we see so much pain, suffering and misery in the world, how can a person honestly say that the thought of suicide has never crossed his/her mind? To ask whether life is worth living is natural. Of what true value is an unexamined life?

What gives us strength is the knowledge that we confronted the depths of despair and determined that we want to live in spite of our pain. A good therapist does not deny the inherent struggles of life. They recognize life for what it is and find a way to give meaning to a life which is wrapped in a riddle. For a therapist to  pretend to be a fountain of wisdom and knowledge is disingenuous and a disservice to our clients. Arrogance should have no quarter in therapy.

Therapy is a collaboration and a mutual search for meaning. It is not a master/student relationship. We are all travelers on the journey of life, looking for direction and purpose. A good therapist would never pretend otherwise. 

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